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Spirited Away [2001]
Reviewed by Jocelyn.
So let me start off by saying I’m really really gay for Hayao Miyazaki. I’ve seen almost all of his movies and I just love everything about them; the writing, the plot, the characters, the reflection of Japanese culture, the constant reminders of the relationship between humans and the world around us. I feel like his continual use of female leads & heroines is awesome and really helps open the scope of anime movies because they’re not just geared towards girls or women but everyone and everyone can take something away from it.
That being said, Spirited Away is Miyazaki’s most celebrated and popular film to date, having won many awards in America and abroad. The story is whimsical yet serious and uplifting, as is Miyazaki’s style of storytelling and the animation is gorgeous with deep, vibrant colors and equally as colorful characters. The dialogue is subtle but powerful (sidenote: I personally prefer watching foreign films in their original language with subtitles but the English dub of this film is equally enjoyable as the subbed version) You always end up cheering for the hero and possibly tearing up at the end of a Miyazaki film; he’s truly a master of his craft. If you haven’t seen it already, DO IT. NOW.
Bottom Line: 9.8/10
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Just Wright(2010)
Reviewed by Paul
I looked over this blog and lately the movies I have been seeing are the ones we knew were going to be somewhat decent. I thought it was time to change it up a bit. So last night, with some old friends we went to go see this.
I try to avoid the black romantic comedies with all my might and soul, but sometimes it’s just gonna happen. Now “Just Wright” is about Queen Latifah being a single Physical trainer who help rehabilitate people from inju-
Ok, if you can’t tell from the poster, and the half sentence I just gave you what this movie is going to be about, you’re probably stupid, and should seek medical attention as soon as possible. I mean, movies have been recycling the whole, girl meets guy, guy doesn’t seem attracted, girl gives up, guy realizes after all these other great attractive choices, that he was wrong, guy goes back to girl. Yeah. Thats it. I guess the reason i’m not trashing it in more detail because the experience with friends, and we were all making fun of it made it so much better. So that’s how I would advise you to see it. WITH FRIENDS. Don’t see it alone, with your mom, with your girl(because she’ll dump your ass after sitting through the torture.) or any other stipulation.
Of course, Common should definitely go back to either making a new cd, or doing action movies, because Common’s acting…is just like his rapping. If someone put on a beat during everyone of Common’s line, you’d swear it was a song. I was a little disappointed in that, but at the end of the day I blame scripting. It was overly corny, very predicatable, and just a typical one time watch and you’ll forget it by Monday.
Rating: 3/10…sorry Common.
P.S. When Dwight Howard did that NASTY play on Common at the end…whooo boy that shit was ugly. EMBARRASSMENT!
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Iron Man 2 (2010)
Reviewed by Gaelon
Flashy explosions, hardcore fight sequences, and bodacious babes in clothing that shows off every little detail… ah yes, the smell of summer blockbusters, is it that time already? Iron Man 2 delivers on that aspect, but is there more to it than just guns, tits, and cool looking CG? Answer is, no.
While all the above is definitely the only requirement of a summer blockbuster, its a little nice to provide something more than just fan-service. Granted, Iron Man 2 did deliver a few of those things (good actors, a followable story, some buried meaning behind all the ‘splosions, etc), but there were things that just took away from it. And ironically, all that wonderful “badassery” of fan-service was one of the main deterrents.
While I can understand that a whole lot of work went into the CG of this movie, the problem is that it moves too fast at points for normal humans to catch. As parts flash past, you wonder exactly what you just saw, and the answer is a $4,000,000 blur. I know the whole point of making amazing action sequences is to wow and amaze the audience, but I feel that hyper-fast-paced sequences that are difficult to make out don’t really do the art form justice.
Another thing is, I understand Tony Stark is supposed to be some big shot guy that is absolutely full of himself, but the whole movie sorta evolved into a movie that was too full of itself. Normal blockbusters show off how well they can stylize a movie and make it eye-candy to the public for a genuinely enjoyable experience. Iron Man 2? All it felt like it did was show off how much money it spent on it’s development.
Their acting choices were decent (Micky Rourke above all being the most interesting character), but Robert Downy Jr.’s show-stealing routine took away from the whole experience. Aside from that, there wasn’t much going on in this movie. Butthurt executive is butthurt. Russian Micky Rourke character is Russian. Iron Man is Iron Man and he has an ethnically integrated clone copy of himself called War Machine. And they all have big egos.
If there’s one thing that this movie can be commended on, its being impressive without being memorable. Nothing much to see here.
Overall: Lite Marvel Fans will get a kick out of it, since that’s what it’s gendered for. Drops regarding Avengers, Captain America, and Thor movies, sprinkled throughout. Just don’t expect anything other than eye candy and fan-service.
5.7/10
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The Boondock Saints. (1999)
Reviewed by Jocelyn
This is one of my favorite & one of the best cult classic films made in the last 15 years. When first released, critics deemed it “overtly violent” which deterred many from going to the very limited release it had initially in 1999. But the movie saw a comeback with the release of the DVD and Blockbuster which spiked its popularity.
‘TBS’ follows two fraternal twin brothers [Sean Patrick Flanery & Norman Reedus] who after a bad fight with some Russian thugs on St. Patrick’s Day, decide to rid South Side Boston of the scummy drug dealers, pedophiles and overall lowlifes. The police must bring in a forensic specialist to assess the crime scenes the brothers leave behind [Willem Dafoe in an amazing performance]
The flow of the story is a little iffy but the action sequences were shot with state-of-the-art precision & remain enjoyable although a little outdated for 2010. The characters are likable [especially the brothers’ friend & cohort Rocco played by David Della Rocco] and become fairly well-developed as the movie comes to a close. With a bit of a last-minute twist [possibly even for the script writers], it ends open-ended with a sequel that followed 10 years later. Amazingly quotable, humorous and with lots of guns and a dash of crime solving mixed in for taste.
Bottom Line: 8.5/10
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Lilo and Stitch (2002)
Reviewed by Gaelon
In the new millennium, Disney waned on producing 2D animated movies and began focusing their attentions on other properties that they had aquired… namely Pixar and Studio Ghibli. Not to discredit those properties, for they have produced many excellent films that I’m sure will get reviewed soon enough, but Disney’s traditional animation fell by the wayside with box office failures like Treasure Planet and Brother Bear.
Lilo and Stitch, however, stood out above the crowd, and for many reasons. For some reason (that I’d rather not disclose in this review), I could never relate to Disney cartoons dealing with Love and shit like that, which is unfortunate since Love is really a backbone to most Disney animated features. While there definitely was a Love interest with characters, it was distant, in the background, and never came out except in scenes where it got quickly hushed and ignored by the story doing things like progressing.
In fact, there’s a lot to be said about how well this movie relates to people. Many older children could relate to Nani while younger ones could relate to Lilo. Outcast single children and orphans could relate to Stitch, and families without “normal” parts could relate to the movie as a whole. I give my regards to this film because instead of providing unrealistic expectations of Love to young children, it provides the best expectations of love in family regardless of the hurdles.
Disney said that Lilo and Stitch was an attempt at a less expensive and smaller movie, and if that’s the case, they should try it more often. Direction and scripting was phenomenal, the voice talents they chose fit the characters down to a T, and there is really nothing bad I can say about this movie without going out of my way to find it, and even then I think that it would be difficult to spot. The only thing I can say is that it leans more to a younger child’s appeal, but I really think it was trying to slip one past us by appealing to older children’s lust with Nani’s thighs and liberal amount of skin showing.
Cause gahddamn dem thighs bruh…
Mmm.
Overall: Highly recommended to everybody. Easily my favorite animated Disney movie of all time.
9.5/10
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Iron Man 2(2010)
Reviewed by Paul
Sequals, they are either bittersweet, or…”meh it was straight”. Well with Iron Man 2, it was a mixture of both. Of course it was a continuation of the first one and leaves off with Tony Starks announcement to the world that he is Iron Man(sorry if I spoiled that for you) and anger strikes from within a basement in Russia. GRRRRAAAHHH! (In Soviet Russia basement strikes within you anger)
My favorite part of the movie was when Don Ched. makes his interest and the whole theater goes completely silence, and of course, Robert Downey lightens the mood with “Got a nice tan there” Good Job. Anyway I won’t drag this on because i’m sure most of you will see it anyway.
Basically:
Basically, it’s good for one look. It wasn’t as good as the first one, but eh, what can you do?
Rating: 7/10
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Domino (2005)
Reviewed by Gaelon
So, I’ve basically sat here for about fifteen minutes staring at a blank screen wondering how I’ll be able to accurately describe my emotions upon seeing this movie, and all I can really come up with is “anger”. Now, I can credit myself to seeing quite a few “pretentious” films of our times… many of which end up falling flat on their face, but Tony Scott has set a new bar for the identity of pretentious film making.
Domino is perhaps the most overwhelmingly pretentious movie I have ever seen, and it does not make it good. In fact, it’s probably why it left critics searing about how terrible of a movie it was.
Everything… ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING about this movie is pretty much pretension defined. Characters constantly demanding respect and attention from the camera; actors trying so hard to be bad ass when really only one of them pulls it off fairly well (Mickey Rourke). Directing styles that can only be described as so self-absorbed that they lose themselves in the technique to the point where it only serves in further confusing the viewer. And above all, writing that prides itself so well in fooling the viewer and telling them how fucking stupid they were for thinking that the writing was actually telling them a true story.
Let me tell you something Mr. Richard Kelly… that is not effective storytelling. Writing a two hour long story and then right before the credits roll, tell us, “Maybe this happened, maybe it didn’t, fuck off and deal with it” doesn’t necessarily evoke a positive reaction from the audience… especially when you’re basing it off of real events… probably.
It is pretentious, and quite possibly the worst idea of what good movie making is. There is pretty much nothing serious happening for the first whole hour of the movie, and all we find out is that it set up something we were already told. About the only redeeming quality of this movie is how stylish it is, and you can catch a few youtube videos highlighting the best of it.
Oh, and there’s a pretty funny scene of Monique on Jerry Springer talking about Chinegros and Blatinos, but then she becomes a serious(ly boring) character.
Bottom line: Why would you consider even watching this highly stylized and dreadfully long garbage? It’s not even a good action movie.
2.1/10
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The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Reviewed by Gaelon
I pick up really random movies at pawn shops and used media outlets like Book Nook on many occasions when I have a little extra money to spend, and I was at my favorite pawn shop downtown when this movie stood out to me. I can’t remember exactly when I had seen this movie, but I do remember being somewhat young and I really enjoyed it. But as all things do, movies change with age and I really wondered what some odd years might have put between me and this movie.
Thankfully, not much. Perhaps my concept of a “hilarious” comedy movie is a bit out of touch with everyone else’s, but I have to say that comedy movies in general have taken an abrupt change. Witty, generally enjoyable comedy is out, Dane Cook-esque comedy is in. We seem to be making laughs out of “Oh that situation is similar to what I’ve been in!” situations and “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I had done such and such?” conversations. Gone are the days when hitmen can move in next door, and the dentist living next door is sent by his miserable wife to collect a finder’s fee on the aforementioned hitman who genuinely hates mayonnaise.
Now we have genuinely boring comedies about high school experiences with bad fake IDs and people who abstain from sex until they’re 40. Needless to say, we’re scraping the barrel these days in creativity if we have to resort to real life situations.
But enough from my soap box. In all honesty, the direction is so-so and the writing feels like the good bits were actually improvised, but all around the movie was genuinely enjoyable for a 90s-early 2000s Hollywood comedy. The cast choices were phenomenal, but the dialogue that was obviously scripted was facepalmingly awful. Mathew Perry is a comedian, not an actor, but really who could act some of this dialogue meaningful. And even though the direction of this movie was so-so, there were some pretty interesting things Jonathan Lynn did that fit really well in a comedic aspect. No parts of the movie sagged unnecessarily, and it was, from start to finish, an enjoyable movie.
Bottom Line: Highly recommended if you need something funny to cheer you up from a bad day, but not if you’re real butthurt about my comments regarding 40 Year Old Virgin and Superbad.
7.6/10
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Silent Hill (2006)
Reviewed by Gaelon
“Mother is God in the eyes of a child.”
So… uh… happy Mother’s Day to you, too. In the spirit of things, lets review a horror movie rendition of a popular video game.
All things considered however, I have to use the term “horror movie rendition of a popular video game” lightly for two reasons. Number one, as a rendition of a popular video game, of course it’s going to have it’s fanbase of die hard nerds that clamor at anything remotely related to it’s holy source. These fanboys and girls are especially rabid and viciously attack any concession outside of a direct replica of the first game. The second reason is that horror movie fanatics are just as rabid at anything under the genre name or tries to pass itself off as such.
Now, is Silent Hill a good rendition of Silent Hill (The first game’s story with a female character like the third one with monsters and shit from the second…)? I’m pretty sure that parenthetical explanation serves as an answer, but according to diehard Silent Hill fans… no, this was not a good rendition.
Is it a horror movie? Yes, it has elements that would be considered “scary”, but is it a good horror movie? Even I’d say no.
Now is it a good movie? It’s a passable one, but that’s setting it as a movie when really it’s more of a homage to the intellectual property of Silent Hill so fans can see all the fucked up shit they enjoyed playing in movie form, and perhaps that’s what drew it down from it being a good movie. They chose decent actors and actresses, they got a wonderful director, they got a studio that could actually afford to create the special effects needed, and they got a seasoned writer to pen the script, but the end result was a beautiful movie with a whole lot of unnecessary bits that were used to feed the fans.
Unfortunately, the die hard fans didn’t like it because it scuttled the whole “idea” of Silent Hill, and critics didn’t like it because they had no clue what they were getting into when they were watching such a visually fucked up movie (the games are way worse by the way). So critically, it bombed. Everyone said it was a bad movie, and it ended up in the $5 Wal-Mart DVD bin. Incidentally, that is actually pretty good for those who haven’t seen it, because you can pick up a pretty decent movie for $5 one night if you’re bored.
If anything would have made this a better movie, it would be it deciding on whether it wants to be a direct clone of the game or it’s own stand alone title. There’s some real impressive depth to this movie, but the thing as a whole is another example of Hollywood gone wrong and now it’s a spectacle movie. Even so, I’d have to struggle with myself to hand it a “bad movie” rating. I really did enjoy watching it, which is what a spectacle movie is supposed to do.
Overall: I’d recommend it only to the open mind… or if you’re a gore fanatic that isn’t a fan of Silent Hill, because there is a really interesting scene involving a woman’s vagina and sentient barbed wire.
8.0/10
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Into The Wild(2007) Reviewed by Paul Now until a few months ago, I didn’t know this movie existed. Upon talking to my friend Ian about it and telling me it was a must see movie I would have never thought twice about it. We all have internal conflicts inside us all that sometimes we swallow and proceed to never do anything about them. Some of us hate our jobs, responsibilities and even the way we look for whatever reason it may be. Family issues are something that has come across everyone whether your family is perfect or not. It all depends on how you handle it. Into the Wild is about a man who after his graduation from Emory University, decides to leave all of his possessions and even signs of identity behind. In order to travel to Alaska by foot. With no money, food, or any real steady means of transportation, he ventures off. This movie provides ranges among ranges of terrific terrain shots of America. From the Rocky Mountains of the West, to the snowy tundras of Canada, very nice. I enjoyed the sense of adventure you see this one man go through, not all of which consisted in the wild. There is even a portion where he ends up working for various businesses in order to make some sort of collateral in which to survive and venture on. Would you work in a wheat field in order to earn money to continue your life threatening journey? I think not. Good ol Vince Vaughn makes an appearance in this movie, and it always surprises me when he’s not in perverted roles about him chasing ass or romantic comedies with Jennifer Aniston(ROFL WHO CARES). Kristen Stewart is also in this movie, and I really wonder why she always looks like a tired prostitute in every movie. I don’t get it, get some coffee and wake up. Anyway, very good movie, a tad lengthy but a very good movie nonetheless. Rating: 8.5/10
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